I met up with Orran at the Mill Woods park the other day. Compared to Edmonton's other skateparks Mill Woods is another world. It's like the kids from Lord of the Flies found a skatepark. According to the Mayan calendar the world is suppose to come to an end this year. If their ancient prediction is correct and the world is wiped clean in a fiery crescendo, I have no doubt that the Mill Woods crew will be the ones to not only survive, but find a way to keep on rolling. Skating bone and rock, setting the new world ablaze, and making up new apocalyptic nicknames.
After the session I asked Orran for an impromptu Mill Woods Top 5. Here are his responses.
Top 5 things that have been set on fire at the Mill Woods skatepark
• the underground sewer
• couches
• any kind of spray paint or aerosol can that can breath fire
• porn mags
• the shack
Top 5 nicknames at Mill Woods
(Orran immediately rattled off at least ten nicknames, then continued to text me more and more over the next couple days.)
• J-Slice
• Bunk Apples
• Hairy Demon
• Albino Rhino
• Bubble Gumbo
• Master Potato
• Angry Man
• Dragon Braces Tattoo Guy
• Custody
• Biggie Jawbreaker Smalls
• X-Games
• Pineapple Mike
• Jingley Belt Man
• Ice Tea
• 40 Oz
• Baby Eskimo Skeleton Face
• Human Avitar
• Red Shirt Mike
• Primo Kid
• Arizona
• Ontario
• Texas
• Kimbo Jr
• Winkey
• Drunken Monkey
• Burger King
• Birdface
• Cat Lady
• Big Red
Top 5 Mill Woods crews
• The Edmonton Ruffriders
• The Skallywags
• The Beans Brigade
• The Blood Monkeys
• Red Star Mafia
• Gent Bent
• The Dippidy Deans
• The Lost Boys
Top 5 obstacles at Mill Woods
• tombstone
• troll hole
• bowl
• taco
• boob
Top 5 crazy ass non-skate incidents at Mill Woods park
• various arrests
• a guy came to the park, stabbed all the BMXer's tires, then stole a car and flipped it
• guy trying to fight Dirty
• the guy who's eyebrow fell off
• a guy did acid, then stood in one spot at the park for four days straight
• Gumbo driving a car around the park
• when the park flooded and people were doing Otter slides down the hubbas into the water
Top 5 reason to love Kaskitayo
• No
Top 5 Mill Woods foodstuffs
• beer
• slurpees - a slurpee probably feeds five people here.
• chips - a bag of chips will feed a whole 10 people.
• smokes
• roaches
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